Not so fast, Not so furious


There comes a point in every teenager's life when we hit the magical age of 17 and think about the wonderful freedom of driving. However, the fear of crashing can outweigh the prospect of freedom. I had what I would like to describe as a near psychotic driving instructor for about 2 weeks who scared the living shit out of me and made me never want to learn to drive again. As this was my first time driving I was completely oblivious to the fact that it wasn't normal to be scared for your goddam life every time you get into a car. The first time I got into the car she decided to scream at me "YOU CAN"T FUCKING STOP AND START THE CAR YOU IDIOT". I had never felt more panicked in my life and immediately stalled the car in the middle of a public road. I couldn't figure out at the time what exactly what this woman's issues were but before I could make any judgments she decided to unload her entire life story on me. Bearing in mind this was my first time meeting her I had no desire to learn what her bathroom habits were or how miserably her last 4 marriages had ended. Oh my days. I must say though, that the most challenging part of driving with her was not the trauma that was laid onto me but her constant shouting at other drivers. As you'll realise, in someone else's car you can't quite figure out which person is shouting. This led to many drivers becoming throughly irate due to the fact that they believed that a learner driver was shouting at them and telling them how to drive. I tried to say sorry to them through the windows but that just made her shout at me some more. She also thought it was a good idea to take me on a dual carriageway on my first lesson, without any concept on how to use a clutch or change gears. Life lesson: don't go onto a dual carriageway in 1st gear. After the first couple of lessons my parents asked me how they were going. After I told them, they went a bit white and helped me find another instructor. I would like to conclude with the fact that I did learn a valuable lesson. Don't go into cars with ladies you don't know. Yours Lovingly, Jamie