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Please leave my life, but first I need £20 and a lift to the Mall.

Drawing by Jess Maxse

I know I have already written a story on my batshit crazy parents but I thought I might dig deeper into the world of parents and parental relationships and the difficulties that follow with growing up. Parents are clueless. This is a well known fact that both parents and teens are aware of. But being a parent is incredibly hard (to settle any fears I DO NOT know this from first-hand experience). We as teens have no concept of loving something so incredibly much you would literally die for it. This is what it is like being a parent, worrying day in and day out about your child and constantly wanting the best for them. However, this may sound like a weird concept, but love is a vector; it has both direction and magnitude. It is incredibly easy for a parent to put in a huge amount of effort to try and do the right and best thing for their child but just because they are putting that in doesn't mean that they are putting it in the right way. At this age we all want to start being treated like adults by our parents and be given more responsibility and freedom. However, this is a terrifying thought to them as they love you so dearly (even though sometimes it may not seem like it) the thought of letting you go and letting you be away in the scary and unpredictable world freaks them out. But responsibility is much like one of those leads for a dog that extends. If the dog only ever learns to stop when the lead stops then it doesn't ever really learn to stop for itself. This is like freedom. If a parent only ever protects and coddles a child then they will never realistically learn to make mistakes and evaluate decisions for themselves and with the smallest ounce of freedom they will inevitably abuse it. This is why inevitably this stage of transitioning from a teen to adult is incredibly difficult for both parents and children as there is a complete rebalance of power and independence, whether its becoming the more dominant and alpha in the family or spending more time away from them, its all new. The difficulty arises from this rebalance of your parents and you both feeling like the change is new and scary. The best way to combat this is to build a system of mutual respect in which you potentially give your parents more understanding of the reasoning behind their worries and constraints, but also your parents come to the realisation that you are growing up. This is new and scary but they did okay growing up and so will you. Anyways, for the mean time just stay happy and healthy. FYI the drawing is by Jess Maxse

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